Tag Archives: Chronic illness

It’s Still Hard | A grief poem

Today, January 14th, marks the due date of the second baby my husband and I lost to miscarriage, now four and half years ago. Words fail to describe the existence of pain that still resides in my heart as a result from enduring such losses.

In remembrance of what today should have been, I’m publishing an old excerpt from my journal. Continue reading

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A New Year’s Letter to My Decade-Younger Self

Dear Self,

You think it’s pretty crazy that it’s already two-thousand-and-seven, don’t you? You wish you could have accomplished more in this last year, but you’re sitting down with pen and paper, eager to write out a full list of all the amazing things you want to accomplish in the new year.

After an hour of journaling right before bed, your hand writing at awkward angles as you use your pillow for a desk, you come up with something like this.
Continue reading

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Beyond Me: How Many More Will Suffer?

I am not the only person suffering from chronic Lyme disease. And chances are, I am not the only person you know who has it.

Have (or how have) you been touched by Lyme disease?

Perhaps you have a friend who has Lyme. Or a sibling, parent or child. Or multiple siblings or children. Perhaps you don’t know anyone personally, but have friends or relatives who do. Continue reading

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I Hate You, Weaning

I hate you, weaning. I never meant to meet you. Yet here you are. Making my child scream like he’s dying. Making my heart cringe like it’s dying too.

He wants his mama. But that’s not all, he wants mama’s milk. Just the way he always has. I have to teach him that mama can’t offer milk anymore. Mama is starting a new treatment next month and it just wouldn’t be safe. Continue reading

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You Know You Have Fatigue When…

In high school French, I remember learning a lot of funny sounding words. My friend Rachel (Sylvie) and I created a list of favorite French words. At the top of my list was “raplapla,” an onomatopoeia meaning “worn out; tired; exhausted; fatigued.”

Over a decade later, I find it interesting that one of my favorite sounding French words has become the soundtrack of my life.  Continue reading

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On Turning 30

I’m feeling older than I did a year ago. My body is less forgiving of simple, basic movements –turning to check my blind spot, putting my toddler into the baby carrier, standing on my feet for more than a minute…

I find myself quoting the words of King David: “How long, O Lord…?” Continue reading

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“What does Lyme feel like?” by Lori Dennis, MA,RP

I stumbled across the below post last week via a Facebook support group that I’m in (for people with Lyme disease).

I don’t read others’ Lyme stories, blogs or articles as often as I’d like – for many reasons. Why? I’m interrupted by my toddler. The pain from typing overwhelms. Or blurry vision sets in. (And the list goes on). Continue reading

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Why I don’t easily Trust Doctors

A little story. Or intelligent rant, as my husband puts it.

I had my blood drawn the other day. (Lucky me.) Upon exiting, I was given the choice of using tape versus a bandage to cover the blood. Ironically, I wasn’t given the choice of needle used for the procedure.  Continue reading

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Don’t mess with the sleeping baby

Have you ever been pulled over on a five-lane interstate with a sleeping baby in the back? I haven’t… until today.

Before this unfortunate encounter, I spent an entire two hours in my car, putting my toddler to sleep and then making sure he stayed asleep. He needed it bad. Continue reading

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Illusions

Apparently, I don’t have enough challenges in my life. For some crazy reason, I decided I needed to do a book study [insert surprise emoji here]. The other night, I struggled to read through a sixteen-page chapter. I lost track of how many times I had to re-start. The black words appeared gray to me, Continue reading

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