Tag Archives: pregnancy

It’s Still Hard | A grief poem

Today, January 14th, marks the due date of the second baby my husband and I lost to miscarriage, now four and half years ago. Words fail to describe the existence of pain that still resides in my heart as a result from enduring such losses.

In remembrance of what today should have been, I’m publishing an old excerpt from my journal. Continue reading

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Roen’s Story

I’m sitting on the living room couch typing up the story of my second born, Roen Star. My husband sits to my left, whittling a piece of wood, as our fourteen month old naps in the bedroom.

Fourteen months. That number looks familiar. Oh yes, it’s written in the pages that sit on my lap, right in the middle of the memories. Memories of the coming and going of one small, but not insignificant life. Continue reading

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All the Difference {My Resurrection Sunday Miracle}

One year has made all the difference. Between death and life, between sorrow and joy. Between questions and answers, between unknowns and knowns. Between doubts and hopes, between anticipation and relief.

I lost my firstborn on March 20, 2011 through a late miscarriage. After a second miscarriage and what seemed like a million years, I now know what’s it’s like to see a break of light within the storm. Continue reading

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Dancing in Heaven

Not long after the loss of my first child, Alanna, I had a vision of her dancing in heaven. She was twirling and singing in a field of lavender. Happy. Beautiful. Free from the harms of this world.

There was a Bible verse that came to my mind along with this vision: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” (Psalm 91:1) This verse proved to be a steadfast comfort for me during those initial days of grief.  Continue reading

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Alanna’s Story

In recent years, the month of March would arrive un-welcomed by me. I hated to see it come, and was relieved as it neared its end. All because of what today, March 20th, is for me. You see, today I celebrate the life, while remembering the loss, of my firstborn child, Alanna Bea. I found out I was carrying her on January 2, 2011. I lost her through a late miscarriage on March 20, 2011. She weighed as much as six pennies and was the length of my ring finger.  Continue reading

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T-Minus 2 weeks…

Till Baby’s due date, that is!

Last week, Jonathan and I were able to do a maternity photo shoot with a new friend, Millie Hodnett. We were connected to Millie by our good friend Beky from Madison; Continue reading

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A Letter to My Little One

My Dear Little Star,

This is your 24th week in my belly! You are holding on to your young life with strength and perseverance. At least I imagine you are. You’ve made it this far, despite the war zone of the Lyme bacteria from my illness. I hope with all my heart that you cannot feel its effects in the womb, and that you will never have to go through the horrors of this illness firsthand. Continue reading

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Thankful Thursday #5 (2 Posts in 1)

Dear friends,

It’s been a while since I’ve been present on this blog, as my hands have been tied up with my family’s new blog. (Not to mention, some major life transitions!) Even now, I only have a few minutes, so I will have to be brief.

This week, I am thankful for 1) a successful move from Wisconsin to Washington; 2) a lively, kicking baby growing inside me.  Continue reading

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